Strength in Vulnerability -- an exploration at the Men's Gathering at Shalom Mountain

Tom Goddard — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 09:10:44 -0400

What is the big deal about the Men's Gathering at Shalom Mountain?

Where do I begin?

I suppose I begin with last year. 2005 was my first Shalom Mountain Men's Retreat, and it was amazing. I was expecting a "gathering" of men -- just some guys getting together in a lovely location in the Catskills.

Wrong.

I'm not sure I've ever been faced with more frequent, profound processes over a 3-day period in my life. And, to share them with my two sons at a particularly critical important time in our lives in this community of men was incredibly precious. Our relationship was transformed, for the better, for ever.

So, this year, I showed up at my favorite retreat center a day early, having co-facilitated a workshop at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, on the topic of the integration of science and spirit. A bit of quiet time in a nearly-empty Shalom Mountain Retreat Center helped with the transition from Science and Spirit to this year's theme of the Men's Gathering: Strength in Vulnerability.

More than one among the 65 gathered men noted that this combination of strength and vulnerability is counter-intuitive ("like looking for fire in a water bucket", one said). Yet, throughout the weekend, process after process, conversation after conversation, we got to discover that much of what is available to men in the domain of strength is dependent upon our choice to be vulnerable.

An objective observer might have concluded that to be vulnerable as a man is simple -- (1) if you harbor any secrets from your brothers, tell those secrets to all of your brothers; (2) if you want to find intimacy with your fellow man, do not fear to hold him as a brother might hold him; (3) when you're holding your brother, stay.

Workshops

Strength in Vulnerability -- an exploration at the Men's Gathering at Shalom Mountain