Teens And Balancing The Masculine and Feminine Energies

Monday I head for Shalom Mountain, 16-year-old son in tow, to drop him off for that retreat center's annual "Young Adult Shalom Retreat". Later in the week he'll be joined by his 12-year-old brother as the week morphs into a "Teen Gathering". This will be my elder son's third such retreat, my younger son's first. All three of us are very, very excited, because we know what a fabulous time they will have.

As I was reading this week's articles on health from the Washington Post, I came across an article that confirms my suspicions about what this annual trek to the Catskills means to my sons, and why it's so important. Sandra Boodman reports on a new book by psychologist Madeline Levine, "The Price of Privilege", reporting that our culture-wide mania to have our children excel in all endeavors has created a generation of miserable, unhappy folk.

Imagine that.

As I read David Deida (in Intimate Communion), this society seems to suffer from a case of too much masculine energy in the raising of our children, and too little feminine. "Achieve, achieve, achieve" drowns out "relate, relate, relate". As I think back to the months that followed Julian's return from his first Shalom retreat, this seems utterly true. The supportive environment, the emphasis on community and acceptance, the utter lack of the drumbeat to win, helped Julian, I think it's safe to say, transition to a time in his life where he is rewarded not just for his accomplishments, but for his capacity to listen and show kindness.

How does this fit into the world of Integral Theory? Easy -- this is one of the most essential "type" in the "all-types" dimension of the theory.

But it's not just a dimension of Integral Theory. The creative feminine informs the entire discussion -- all-quadrants, all-levels, all-lines, and all-states. I'll talk more about this in coming weeks as Michelle James of the Center for Creative Emergence and I prepare for our one-day workshop on August 31, "Integral Leadership in an Emergent World." Infusing our experiential exploration of Integral Theory with the principles of creative emergence is an unprecedented endeavor, according to Ken Wilber in a meeting we had with him in his loft on July 16. The pre-fall (see reports of his injury in his blog) version of Ken told us that that this workshop, being the first of its kind, would be a "fresh start."

Not unlike Julian after a thorough dose of community in his first Shalom retreat.