Men

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See map: Google MapsIt is time to take up our own authority -- our own validation -- to stake out our values and our place in this world. This means facing our fears, forgiving and loving ourselves, and developing the focus to follow our passions. Acting from this place of Self, we find the power to serve our beloveds, families, community, and world.

This year’s Men’s Gathering will focus on taking up responsibility for our own lives. As always, the Shalom men’s community will serve as a loving container for this vital exploration.

September promises to be quite a month at the Shalom Mountain Retreat and study Center. As usual, the month will start with the Labor Day work weekend. This will be no ordinary work weekend, as many of the activities will focus on the transfer of ownership and control of the center from Joy Davey and Lawrence Stibbards, who have run the place for over 16 years, to Shawn Ramer, Victoria Myer, and Terry Shirreffs.

What is the big deal about the Men's Gathering at Shalom Mountain?

Where do I begin?

I suppose I begin with last year. 2005 was my first Shalom Mountain Men's Retreat, and it was amazing. I was expecting a "gathering" of men -- just some guys getting together in a lovely location in the Catskills.

Wrong.

I'm not sure I've ever been faced with more frequent, profound processes over a 3-day period in my life. And, to share them with my two sons at a particularly critical important time in our lives in this community of men was incredibly precious. Our relationship was transformed, for the better, for ever.

So, this year, I showed up at my favorite retreat center a day early, having co-facilitated a workshop at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, on the topic of the integration of science and spirit. A bit of quiet time in a nearly-empty Shalom Mountain Retreat Center helped with the transition from Science and Spirit to this year's theme of the Men's Gathering: Strength in Vulnerability.

More than one among the 65 gathered men noted that this combination of strength and vulnerability is counter-intuitive ("like looking for fire in a water bucket", one said). Yet, throughout the weekend, process after process, conversation after conversation, we got to discover that much of what is available to men in the domain of strength is dependent upon our choice to be vulnerable.

An objective observer might have concluded that to be vulnerable as a man is simple -- (1) if you harbor any secrets from your brothers, tell those secrets to all of your brothers; (2) if you want to find intimacy with your fellow man, do not fear to hold him as a brother might hold him; (3) when you're holding your brother, stay.